Perplexed, But Not In Despair
Recently, Tim and I have faced some difficult experiences that left me asking, “Why, God?” for the first time in my life. In my disheartening circumstance, I did not feel angry with God, nor did I blame Him, nor did I feel far away from Him. I did not ask “Why, God?” in a demanding and overwhelmed state. Rather, I asked “Why, God?” in a lost and perplexed way. In my humanity, I wanted to understand why this was happening so I could fix it.
In my confusion and sadness, I turned to God and the Bible for help. I knew that God was not angry at me or punishing me. I could feel His love and His comforting all around me. I wanted to be close to Him. I wanted to sit on His lap and have him hold me and calm me and reassure me. And this is the closeness I have felt.
What I am going through, and whatever reason I am going through it, is something that I am not responsible for controlling or figuring out. He has everything under control, and I can rest in His promises. I will remain faithful to Him no matter what circumstances I face, and I will praise Him and thank Him through it all. I already have eternal life through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and I have the precious Holy Spirit within me, comforting me and teaching me. I am a child of God, and nothing can come against me that God does not allow and know about. God is smiling upon me, and I choose to smile back. Because I love Him, and because He is all I need.
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.” –Romans 8:26,27
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” –Romans 8:28
“If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” –Romans 8:32
“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.” -Psalm 37:4-6
“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.'” -John 14:6