Who He Is

As I was packing Ava’s room, I came across her little momentos I have saved… letters to her, special cards, footprints, the journal I kept when I was pregnant with her, and then I found a bag with three pregnancy tests in it. One test was Ava’s, one was the baby’s before her, and the other was the baby’s before that. Waves of emotion swept over me as I thought about and longed for the little babies I miscarried. Maybe it is because I have now been a mother for over a year that I cried for them for the first time since we lost them.

As I allowed myself a few moments to miss them and love them, I also remembered how good God was to Tim and me when we were going through all the discouraging doctors visits, the roller coaster of having hope and trying to accept reality, the pain of losing them, and the fear of the future. I recall very vividly the times I rocked and I prayed that God would touch our baby and let it live. And I recall just as vividly the genuine comfort I felt from the Lord and the knowledge He was right there with me and that He understood. In the middle of the hurt, I knew that He was with me and that He was good.

Your valley may be very different from mine, but whatever journey you are making, you can know that God is still good. He still loves you. He still has great plans for you. You may not understand; and that’s the beauty of it – God’s goodness is not dependent on your understanding. Who He is, isn’t dependent on your grasp of His greatness. God isn’t who you make Him up in your mind to be, and your questions don’t make God smaller. It’s wonderful and liberating to know – God is Who He is.

Deuteronomy 7:21
“The Lord your God, who is among you, is a great and awesome God.”

1 Chronicles 16:43
“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.”